Ryanair

by The Good Life on April 23, 2011

in Rants

So yesterday, I headed to the UK to go and watch the mighty Swans and a school reunion, which was amazing fun, more of that to come this weekend though, but lets get down to business.

I had the joy of flying with these guys yesterday.

Pleasure isnt really the word though.  Upon getting to the airport, i pulled a fresh pair of kicks out the box, and left the box out the front by the bins, and all of a sudden “hello can the person who left the unidentified box outside the airport, come and see security” hence to say I didnt bother, as that would have been drama. So anyways, i jump in the que
So it was passport – check.  Phone – check.  Wallet – check.  Boarding pass – saved on my iphone as a pdf, thats enough right?
So I get to the front To be greeted by this unfriendly woman who probably smiled last in 1993 or something, she was that dour, you could see the cracks in her facepaint if she did anything than talk and look mad at me.  So I give her the phone, and then she looks at me like i just slapped her in the face and called her a Cardiff fan.  “Non.  Non.  Not here, you cant use the phone, you need a boarding pass!”
so i reply “oh I am sorry, normally thats enough on most airlines, and i didnt have a printer.  Oh well sorry, can you just print it out?”
“yes.  it costs 40 euros”
“40 euros, for a piece of paper your having a laugh, give me a break, i could buy a printer for that much and print it right here myself”  she obviously wasnt impressed with my banter.
So off I trudge to get that paid for, and get ripped off once again.
Next thing, i go back to this stone cold woman and give my bag in next to some spanish bloke with a mullet dreadlock combo, who looked like he sleeps in a van with a dog as a blanket.
“the bag is 2 kilos too heavy”
“2 kilos, well, come on, should be alright?”
“you have to pay for it” (bearing in mind i already paid for 15kgs)
“but i dont weigh as much as this guy next to me, is he going to pay more?”
“no”
So I take out my laundry bag, and it works so then i am carrying my laundry round and rucksack like a schoolboy on a trip who didnt pack properly.
The next two hours was spanish kids, english kids, shouting, screaming, people clapping when the plane took off all stuck in this bright yellow submarine.  The beatles would have been proud.
So we land and on arrival I notice this chap who has got round the baggage restrictions
I think someone her has worked out the way round it.  There is probably a fullsize man in the bag all curled up in a yoga position, and then paid this young bloke to carry him on the plane as it doesnt seem to matter how heavy your carry on is.
Anyways, moral of the story, wont be trying to travel with Ryanair anytime soon.  and hire a child to take you as their carry on luggage.

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